Two scientists walk into a bar. One says "I'll have H20", the other says "I'll have a beer." The first one is the one to drive them to their homes.

What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they're both dead.

Why do penguins wash their clothes in tide? They don't. As artic-dwelling birds, they don't have access TV or magazines and as such, are impervious to influences via commercials and written advertisements. Also, obvious tuxedo jokes aside, they don't really wear clothes.

What's worse then ten dead babies in a garbage can? Being the one who found them.

If your flying upstream in a kayak and a wheel flys off, how many pancakes can fit into a dog house? None, because ice-cream is alergic to frogs!

Why can't Kevin run with scissors? Because he killed himself.

What do you get wen u cross a cat and a walrus? Two animals with very different life styles.

How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

Struggling with self esteem? Wish you were more attractive? Well stop wishing you fugly cum dumpster.

What's the worst part about being drunk? Your child.

What happened to the newlywed couple who couldn't tell the difference between KY jelly and window putty? All their windows fell out.

Why is there world hunger? Because you touch yourself at night.

What was the doctor's shirt made out of? Cotton

Roses are red, violets are blue. Cassidy's a whore so open the door.

Why was the 45 year old man crying? He shit his pants.

Worst joke to tell an orphan. Knock knock. Who's there. Not your parents

i cannot get my penis to rise to the occasion, it is the holocaust tho..

why is santa so jolly? hes not hes a fictional character made up by our parents imagination

Why couldn't Jenna play double dutch? Because she had no friends.

Why did the man get fired? Because he had cancer

What did the T-rex say to the velociraptor? Dinosaurs are extinct.

a person cries in the corner you go over to them and rape them

What do you do if you really really hate someone? You kill them. HEEE HEEE! by drew and jubie

A snake walks into a bar

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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