q

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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The Cubs are going to win the world series this year

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Society has given up on chairs that spin.

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Hellen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it ERRMMMMM UAHHHHHHHH...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Why was the fat person sad? Because he was fat.

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I like pom

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A rabbi walks into a bar mitzvah

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what did one pedophile say to the other at the playground? DIBZ!!!

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why did the baby start crying? someone threw a brick at it

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't because it had died from an uncaring mother and father that dumped it's corps on the side of the highway.

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Three males walked into a bar. one of them was a kangaroo.

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots. They all miss.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces of me and bounces of you too because sound isn't affected by your adhesive properties.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven was a terrorist.

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how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

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Scientology.

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your mama so dumb her iq point is below average

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Male penises.

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This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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