hey what are you eating there? a giant scorpion that tried to rape me.

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An Irish man walks into a bar. He then sits down and enjoys his favorite drink.

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What time is the dentist appointment? Time for you to get a watch

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What's brown and sticky? 'Brown' is a colour, and 'sticky' is a consistency. Please try and use correct grammar.

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had sinned.

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I see, said the deaf man to the blind guy.

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What do you call a black man with a hoe? A farmer.

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Mcfly: Doc! i have to tell you about the future! Doc: Ok.

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Why was the women's basketball player laughed at. The slippery floor caused her to stumble and fall.

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Both my milk chocolate and my white chocolate are brown. Why? I crapped on my white chocolate.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate sex Especially with you

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife just died from pancreatic cancer."

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What did the Anti-Semitic man say to the Jewish man beside him? Hello.

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whats your name? bumder:)

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Q: what do you call obama A:a dumbass

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzie.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Why was the toddler laying in the middle of the road? Because she was the victim of a hit and run...

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My name is never spelt right so its all good

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A man walks into a bar and says "hey, it's me!". Turns out that wasn't him.

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(speaking to an orphan) knock, knock who's there not your parents

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- Mom, you've got a banana in your ear. - Son I can't hear you I've got a banana in my ear!

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what language does the turtle speak? i dont know I'm not a turtle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops