Children playing GTA......... what a world of rapists

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

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A black man hailed a taxi cab. He got in, and the taxi drove him to his destination for an appropriate fee.

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what do snozberries taste like? Lama

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whats worse then biting into a worm and finding an apple??? getting raped up the butt by a giant tiger!

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Why wasn't the rabbit elgible to vote? Because rabbits aren't human beings, and only humans are allowed to vote.

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A man walks into a bar, and orders a drink. He reaches into his back pocket, but cannot find his wallet. The man was pick pocketed by a skilled thief on his walk to the bar. The man quickly makes calls to cancel his credit cards and minimize the financial loss.

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A Muslim boards a plane and he sits done quietly and politely just like everyone else, the plan lands safely at its destination.

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Q: Why don't gingers have souls? A:Ginger is a root that consumed whole as a delicacy, medicine, or spice. Why would it have a soul?

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whats red and falls from a tree an apple

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Why do black people suck? Because they're black

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imadewords

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what did Barak Obama order at Dunking Donuts. a donut

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First person: Knock, knock. Second person: Who's there? First person: You know. Second person: 'You know' who? First person: O.O LORD VOLDEMORT!

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What is the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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Wade's the father

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Why was the man sad His son got raped

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why, if you are blending a baby, should you put it in feet first? So you can look in to it's eyes when masturbating.

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why did the bus crash the driver was an alcoholic and was drunk he killed 8 people upon impact.

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A man walks into a bar. He pulls out a knife, shoots the bar tender, and then kills himself.

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Your momma's so fat, her doctor seriously recommends that she lose weight for the sake of her health and happiness.

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What did the little boy do when he dropped his ice cream? Acted very mature and requested another one from his mother

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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