Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

kiss me?

What is wrong with this phrase? The next line is false. The first line is true. Answer: llamas

what happened the magic tractor?..... it turned into a field

Why Is Jarrod spencer gay Coz he is

Roses are red Violets are blue Billy is dead and Atom bombs blow up chines $

Why was the black man scared to leave his house? Because he saw a load of mutated zombies outside his door trying to kill him. However, he realised that this was not possible and was not scared anymore. He went outside but got hit by a fridge and died...

Q: What did one poor guy say to the other poor guy? A: We're both black

What did the homeless guy do when he saw a bucket? He peed in it

The funniest tragedy in his young life...wasn't funny.

*ring ring ring* hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) *beep beep beep*

why was the snowman so happy? because a child placed pieces of coal in a "u" shape on it.

The battle of Troy lasted approximatley nine years.

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

2 dogs one jar of peanut butter

Knock knock Who's there? Osama Bin Laden

What did the black kid get for christmas? Nothing, he doesn't celebrate christmas

what's the difference between a white man and a black man? their skin color

What starts with a 'D' and ends with 'ick' Daniel and Jimmy are walking in the park when suddenly they get hit by a stick because a mysterious person threw the stick.

42

Why did the bartender cry when a construction worker ordered a Jack and Coke? His son Jack had run away five years ago to sell cocaine; his father hadn't seen him since.

Charlie Sheen walks into a bar, he relapses.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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