roses are green violets are red im shooting heroine into my head

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Why are you reading this? You should be taking a shower, you smell like crap.

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A man has aids. He has plenty of sexual partners and they all contract the disease.

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Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

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why did the truck crash into a tree? cause staplers dont know how to drive

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Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

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Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia They had communism

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Anti jokes gives me cold sores

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Roses are red Violets are blue this poem makes no sense Potato

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A kraut walks out of a synagogue with no one dead

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SCHNARRRRRR!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because once it had inadvertently escaped the farm it was being kept on it was startled and with no concept of road and pavement happened to traverse a road, with no real motive.

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Being a demigod and slaying monsters isn't normal, but on myth it is. MYTH: Not even once.

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You're momma's so fat, Oh wait. She's not.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? NOT SALLYYYY

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What's meaner than taking candy from a baby? Throwing the baby off a cliff.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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Why did Riley cross the road? A: I lied he started to then proceeded to get hit by a bus filled with children causing them all to be scarred for life.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not sally

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How do you turn a broken skateboard into a gleaming Rolls Royce? With magic.

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Why didn't the pharmacist set up his business in the jungle? Because setting up a pharmacy in the jungle is not a viable business option.

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what did the boy say to the girl? make me a sandwich.

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Do you want to hear the best joke ever? Me too!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops