Why don't I ever lmao? Because my ass got bitten off by a bear.

What did the deaf man say to the blind man? The deaf man spoke no identifiable words because he could not hear what he was saying. He mumbled a few phrases in jibberish, and the blind man continued looking for his favorite brand of Ramen Noodles at his local Harris Teeter.

Knock knock Who's there? I don't know go check.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs after he got into a fight with his cat? You call him by his name and apologize for leaving catnip on his head.

Why did the baby cross the street. Because he was attached to the chicken.

I know Mandarin, He's a good friend of mine

If your South American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom? European ( your a pee an)

Like this joke

what do you get if you cross a cat with a cat? kittens.

How is it called a black man piloting a plane? Pilot, you racist!

i have a white dog on my and have the strangest boner

whats funnier than drews nose .... ??

What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

Q.What is the bigest lie in the universe? A. I have read and agree the the Terms of Service.

What do you get when you cross a lion with a rhinoceros? A trip to the hospital and animal cruelty charges.

One cold winter day in Russia, a man asked a tree if he was cold. The tree did not reply, and the man became depressed.

Why are fat people fat? Because they like food.

What did the German say the the Jewish man? "Hello, nice to meet you."

Q: What's the deal with air line food? A: An airline meal or in-flight meal is a meal served to passengers on board a commercial airliner. These meals are prepared by airline catering services. The first kitchens preparing meals in-flight were established by United Airlines in 1936. These meals vary widely in quality and quantity across different airline companies and classes of travel. They range from a simple beverage in short-haul economy class to a seven-course gourmet meal in long-haul first class.

I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

What did the robot say to the centipede? STOP BEING A CENTIPEDE!!!! It's funny cause the robot ain't got no arms.

what do you call a room full of one terrorist and several babies? dead babies

How did the black kid drop out of highschool? He got bad grades.

Why can't Kevin run with scissors? Because he killed himself.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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