Why was Susan tied up on the railroad tracks? Because she was a blonde and her dad told her it was a roller coaster.

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what do you call someone that works in a corner shop? Mohamed

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a man walks into a bar, and says "can i get a beer please?" the bartender hands him his beer, and as soon as the man starts to take a drink, the man dies of a massive heart attack because of his unhealthy lifestyle

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's a woman.

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Why did the lady spill her coffee? The waiter accidently ran into her and then apologized.

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How do you make a bllind person cry? Slowly cut off their toes.

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IF UR READING THIS EXPECTING A GOOD JOKE HERE GOES.... WHY DID THE CUP SAY HELLO GET IT ? I DONT

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joke.

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Why was 1 afraid of 2? Because 234!

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so i walk into a bar the bartender says what do you want i say a beer please he then goes one dear coming up soi thought tomy self should i tell him what i really said so i let him get the dear but for some reason he came out with tears i asked whats a matter he said you let me go to kill a dear

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How any blondes dose it take to screw in a lightbulb? 3 one to hold the light bulb and two to rotate the ladder

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Why aren't there alligators in a bookstore? Because alligators would pose a danger to customers.

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Why is the sky blue? Well it has something to do with The suns reflection off of all the waters on earth's surface.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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the guy on tv right now isnt funny. i blame canada

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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. Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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The doctor said he had good news and bad news. I asked for the bad news first. He said, "You have AIDS. I asked what the good news was. He said "You will only have it about a year."

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what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

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What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

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Why was the first name of the boy 'Price'? His parents were Hamsters.

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

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knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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