Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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why did the man blink because i put a gun to his head.

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What do you call a black man driving a police car? Officer

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Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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What do you call a pickle with a cape? A pickle with a cape

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you call a person with no eyes? Blind.

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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

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a blond, brunette, and red head run away from cops and hide in potato sacks. the officer went up to the brunette and kicked the potato bag and the brunette went "woof" "woof". the officer went to the red head and kicked the potato bag and the red head went "meow" "meow". the officer goes to the blond and kicked the potato bag and the blond went "potato".

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Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

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Why does Kony kidnap infants? To create an Infantry

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Why does a trash can smell bad? Because there's trash in it.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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what do you call a sock that is no longer white a dirty sock

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What do you call a man with no brain? dead.

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A black man and an asian woman have a baby. Then a hispanic and a native american have a baby. Their babies have a baby. What is the baby? Society's worst nightmare.

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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What's worse than your mother dying in a car crash? Your father dying in the same crash.

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How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

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so he says "aaahhh". then i threw a fridge at him

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Your argument is invalid, but I will allow you your opinion nonetheless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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