Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

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Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

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Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? One has a slightly darker skin complexion

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An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

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GOODBYE

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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