What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

what did the soup kitchen give people for christmas Meatloaf] -Fluzturnusturbusturcusterdustur

What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

A blond, brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who tells them each one can have one wish. They all wish for the same thing, to be back home with their families.

Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Irune. Irune who? Irune my life with all this red sand.

Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

Fat? Jesse Z

Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

Why was the little boy laying on the ground unconscious? because I threw a fridge at him.

Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...