Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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