Roses are red Violets are blue Trash gets dumped Just like you

What did the Woman say to the man after he walked into the pole? That was a pole you idiot

How do you fit 100 dead babies into a box? Put them into a blender.

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

What do you call a gay man having sex with a woman? Sex.

why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

What did the cute little girl get for Christmas? Raped

Q: what did the black man say after the white man said knock knock A: who's there

What's white and sticky.... Jizz

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

Why cant Joe drive his tractor? Because he doesn't have any arms or legs. Why doesn't Joe have any arms or legs? BECAUSE JOE IS A POTATO.

Stop looking at these jokes and go fuck yourself.

Why did Hitler Commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed by the fact he had lost World War II.

Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks. The rest of the bar patrons are thoroughly confused.

Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

Micheal Jackson walks into a bar

why is caleb mears sucha perv? becasuee its calebbbb ahahahahahahah

Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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