Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he knew that the neighbors wouldn't "touch him there"

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Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

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What did the sea say to the penguin? Nothing it just waved..

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What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

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This sentence will not end the way you octopus.

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1234567890? ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

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Roses are red They can be white too Violets are not blue They are violet

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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What's brown and sticky? Some brown pigment mixed with something sticky like glue.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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Why was the chinese man kicked out of the bar? Because he was under aged

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PICKLES

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? the pigment in their skin.

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Why does Shelby Like Pandora? Because she prefers rap and hip hop music and Pandora helps select songs for her to listen to according to her interests.

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BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR SHIT STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

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How do you sink a Polish submarine? Hit it with a torpedo.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

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In Soviet Russia, man doesn't walk to the bar. The bar walks to the man!

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What do you call black people in a church, Holy shit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops