Why did the kids all eat their homework? Probably because they were starving to death and there was no other food source available.

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Hearing the same holocaust joke seventeen times.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.. A: Knock Knock B: Who's there? A: Not Sally

A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

What's the best thing about shrimp? It never goes bad.

How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at a grocery store? Because I wanna spill some milk on the floor so they can call spill on aisle 9 and I'll be there waiting for you and watch you clean my mess.

knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

One day a black man went and bought a car with his own hard-earned money.

Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom likes dick and so do you

What do you call a Black guy who flies planes? A pilot

Whats worse than one dead guy? 2 dead guys

What do you call a man with no arms or legs skiing? Skip.

Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

Why did the man walk instead of taking the bus? Because he felt like getting a heathy workout.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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