Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

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What did the minority say to the white person? Aboobasashagaboogly. He was uneducated, along with the other minorities in the world.

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

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What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops