why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He crossed the road to get to a podium. He then made a lond speech about how chickens should be able to cross a road with out having their motives questioned.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They were baked until the baker them until they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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How do you confuse a conspiracy theorist? Tell them the government is not real.

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why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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A platypus walks into a bar, and was the only mammal in the building capable of laying an egg.

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Chantelle, I loved you, but you cheated with Johnathan from Church...

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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A white man, a black man, and an Arab man are standing in a room. Who stole your wallet? No one, you suffer from ALS and therefore do not carry a wallet because you have no way in which to use it. To top it all off your medical bills are so high that your family would be financially better if you were to die and your dream of being an entrepreneur is slipping away as you realize that pitching an idea is difficult in a monotonous drone.

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What did Mr. Pazdzioch and Mr. Hahn and Mr. Fishers big ass do for fun? Ate Mr. Kilgores shit at shin-go-beek jamboree.

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

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Have you heard about the angry chef? He beat his children

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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Two attractive women were getting ready to visit the gym. On the way there, they stopped at a local sports store to purchase some new shorts, and they got it at a good discount price

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What did one gothic person say to another gothic person? Nothing. Gothic people only cut themselves.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

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why was sally bleeding? they never buy band-aids over her nubs.

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Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops