Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

Is that a gun? Or are you forcing your boner into my back? Or is it something completely different that shares the physical characteristics of guns and boners?

Your such a whore, you most likely cut your own clothes so people will see more of your body that they find physically attractive and make a partner for sex easier to obtain

how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

Justin Bieber

Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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