How do you stop an asshole from being an asshole toward you? Shoot him in the head.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure!

why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

Can midgets still have big dreams?

the man walked into the bar and said ur gay

What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo) Haha. ~Ali M.~

How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

what do u call a turtle with no shell? Larry

What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

Why does mcguigan get made fun of ? Because he is gay with Jack Walsh

True fact: every rabbit lives their whole cute life.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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