why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

thumb_up thumb_down -26

If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why is my brother so bad at making anti jokes cuz HE HAS a sense of humor

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why am I telling you this joke? Because the person who did it before me mentioned that he enterted this, agreed to the Terms of Service and clicked submit - but missed out that he also typed in the capcha. Mine said: never quit.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Did you hear about Phil in accounting? No? Well he was trying to make a new type of car. He took the seats from a ford engine from a dodge, and the frame from a toyota. Do you know what he got? 5 years in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What was wrong with the man watching a black and white television program? He wasn't watching a black and white television program at all-he actually had color blindness.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +25

If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What red, white, and blue? A white person who was raped by a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

thumb_up thumb_down +19

i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Andoni was here

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops