Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why the african children was sad? - Because an octopus bite his arm

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the defination of cruelty

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The people who posted those extremely long "jokes" down there have no life.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a person who will soon die of beeties

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what is the name of the book that helen keller wrote LADIUFgSLDGFhalkjgfvcgh

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I? Everett

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops