I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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how do you get rid of diahreah? Shove pepto bismo up your butt.

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What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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Why did the dog lick the boy's leg? Cause when the boy blew up his leg landed in the doghouse

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Knock knock. Whos there Time to get a watch

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Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

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why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

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What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

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What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

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What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

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swag

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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