Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

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A working black man, Santa, and the Easter Bunny where walking down the street and find a penny, who picks it up? The working black man, Santa and the Easter Bunny take no payment for their work.

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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rose's are red violets are blue I have touretts blblblblblblblblbbl

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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Q:Whats worse then hard nipples A:The holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops