Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Suck pussy

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops