How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

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Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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Chuck Norris farted and... several people looked around uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to the embarrassing situation.

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

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PS3 has the exerrent technorogy and finersse to make excerrent gaming such as... ...ITS RIDGE RACER! RIIIIIIIIIDGE RACEEEEEEEEEEEER!

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What did the kid with turrets CHEESE! say to his mom.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

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Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops