What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

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What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

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What did the old women do when she found her husband dead? She had a heart attack and died as well.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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What happened when the Irish ran out of potatoes? Millions starved.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

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So the question i got asked in order to post this was: Which one is easiest? and I thought to myself, the slutty one, obviously!!

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how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: He had no arms Q: Why did the frog fall out of the tree? A: He was stapled to the monkey's face

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You just made me realize something friend, and for that I am grateful, I quit and left the remains of what could have been put together again, I mean if the chance was there, I betrayed both you and myself by leaving a sinking ship. I keep telling myself that our dream has no chance of becoming real in a world where people lack what we consider vision, individuality. Now I realize that by losing faith in humanity accepting their individuality and becoming an author of fiction, I have indeed lost my own belief in a greater world, this of course being reflected upon the fact that I write fiction, rather than speeches and well, what I once considered wisdom. Its just that its lonely at the top, the wiser you become, the more alienated you become from the rest, and if others no longer grasp our concepts of wisdom, strength honor, love and such.. Then I suppose that we just end up lonely, as aliens in a world full of monkeys, until I have begun questioning myself if I am just an arrogant prick, and taken that for an answer. Then it does not matter if you have one follower or a million... ...The sensation of solitude, becomes overwhelming, I guess I have been looking around the world for a definition, rather than following my own heart. Listen, I wont pretend to be you, but I will gladly join you, but if you cannot accept us as equals, I decline. Hey on the brighter side, I always got a "man that likes men" vibe out of you, I suppose I got myself a fan huh? Someone trying to copycat me. Damn, I feel broken, or maybe I just realized how broken I have allowed myself to become, lets say you are not really a woman and where using this in order to break me. Then I gotta say you got me there, and I am not proud of that, I guess that you trying, where I gave up, makes you the better one regardless.

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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what is yellow and burns? -a fire

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Yo momma's so old, she lives in a nursing home and is on various medications that she needs to take to stay in optimum health.

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Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. Imams do not drink alcohol so this joke has a logical flaw.

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like if your cool

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

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Why is my brother so bad at making anti jokes cuz HE HAS a sense of humor

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why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

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Why did the black man die? He was shot

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Man one: Why does the moon look like a face? Man two: I don't know, why? Man one: I don't know either, that's why i asked....

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Have you heats about the Guy who's parents died in à car crash... No He killen himself because of hus parents Deathstars

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What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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