Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, but I'm late for work.

Why was the black man running? Because he was playing capture the flag.

Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

whats green and smells like red paint? green paint

My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

Q: How many dead babies does it take to fill a mixing bowl? A: There is an infinite amount of answers to this question depending on the sizes and shapes or the dead babies, so lets assume that an average would probably be about 4 babies that dies just as the left the mother.

1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...