http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

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What's one very bad way to injure yourself? Smashing your head against a metal surface

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why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

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What's worse than being forced to drink your own urine and eat a disabled kids poop? James Holmes (Ironic that the text I had to type in to post this was "I'M BATMAN".)

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I'm not saying your mom's ugly, but I like pancakes.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

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There once was a girl who took away my source of entertainment. Her name was Nicole.

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

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what do you call your mama at the gas station

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms and she was blind.

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Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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