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Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

What's hanging by a rope from the tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

Roses r red, Violets r blue, u think id eva cry ova u?? I told u i luvd u, n u believed it true... Well guess wat baby? U got played 2 B)

A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

All of these jokes suck; so I just made one that equally sucks!

What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

Who's Micheal Jackson?

What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Jokes related to finding a worm in an apple.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

If your dying how would you avoid getting eaten alive by sharks or rip to shreds by a T-Rex? Fall on a sword

Why is facebook ruining all of the world's social skills? Because Mark Zuckerberg has Asperger's.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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