What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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White men's rights

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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What kind of Juice do White supremacists Hate the most? Minute Maid.

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Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

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Q: what sport has a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? A:the NBA

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How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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