A baby seal walks into a club.

The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

Roses are red, Violets are too. You're bleeding out, I stabbed you.

A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

Yo' mama's so poor that she can't afford many of the privileges of everyday life.

Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

knock knock whos there micheal jackson too soon

Justin beiber comment if u get it

What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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