why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

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roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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roses are red violets are blue i have 5 fingers the middle ones for you.

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What did Tyrone Jenkins say when Obama was elected? Nothing. He is not a real person, but merely a hypothetically existent man used only for the portrayal of a lacking punchline.

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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What did the old women do when she found her husband dead? She had a heart attack and died as well.

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what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

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A Black Guy, A Rabbi, And A Mexican walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "Get Outta Here We're Closed!"

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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