A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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A blind man who spoke English and a deaf man who used sign language went to a bar together. Although they didn't communicate they had a wonderful time.

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Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

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What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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why did the boy stay home from school? it was saturday

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In the movie Sherlock holms, why is Sherlock Holms gay?? --------------Because he is chasing "blackwood"

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Why was six afraid of 7? Because 7 was a terrorist.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory Because she repeatedly wrote Ws

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

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What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after his operation.

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How do you stop a black person from drowning?.. Take your foot off his head

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What's it called when One Direction wins a Grammy Award? It's never going to happen; so why give it a name?

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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