Q: a man in a camry runs over his wife. who's fault is it? A: toyota and their breaks.

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Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

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What is the worst joke to tell a Orphan? Knock Knock Who's there Not your parents ( Man than slams door in little girls face)

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

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What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

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What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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One afternoon, a man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my youngest son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my second son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my oldest son is gay." the man replies. "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?." the bartender asks. The man thinks about it. "Yeah, my wife."

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Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

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roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

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A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

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is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

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What's the difference between a radio and a bowl of potato salad? If you put batteries on a radio you can turn it on and listen to some music. If you put batteries on a bowl of potato salad it's not gonna give you any music.

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What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

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What did one new born baby say to the other new born baby.? Babies don't have teeth therefore they are unable to talk.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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