Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

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What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

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A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

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What's sad about Justin bieber getting thrown off of a cliff Nothing

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

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Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

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Yo momma is so stupid, she is in rehab and will unlikely get over her mental illness leading to her soon and fatal death.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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a man dyslexic into bar walks a

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have aides egg

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W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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