Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because it never told anyone. Chickens can't talk.

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how many terminaly ill 5 year old cancer patients does it take to burn to supply enough energy to make toast just 4.5 :)

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A man had two horses. One was black and one was white. He cut the tail of one of them to tell them apart.

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Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

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A man walks into a bar, he realizes his mistake and walks into the dentist next door where he had made an appointment to get his teeth cleaned.

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Holy sh** a talking muffin!!!

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? There are numerous things worse than finding a worm in your apple. Some include the holocaust and nuclear warfare

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A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, purple is a color, I like grilled cheese

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Why couldn't the child with down syndrome zip up their jacket.... it was a button jacket ... you asshole

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name one thing that is impossible!! A sober irishman

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

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Roses are red, Violets are unicorns, This s h i t doesn't make sense, Refrigerator.

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What did the murderer do after killing the family? he went to jail.

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When the loaf of bread crashed the car the wife was mad. What do you think she did? She put Nutella on him toasted him and then ate him

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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this new cologne, it's kind of gross smelling.

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Hey. I have to ask you a serious question. Okay. what? You can only answer with yes or no. Okay what is it? Do your parents know your gay? .....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops