Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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In which state does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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this is just a tribute to the greatest anti-joke ever told as I can't quite remember how it went, but you gotta beleive me, you just had to be there, it's a matter of opinion.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

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Roses are black, violets are black. I'm Hellen Keller.

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How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

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what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

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Why did the man fall over? He was blind.

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Why couldn't Billy write his own name... ...because he was wearing purple lemonade???

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So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

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Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

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Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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