knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

How many people are in the world? More than one. -David Papile

A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

the person who wrote 1 under me is gay

What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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