I was at the ocean, and I saw a screaming fish. Then it died.

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Two men are fighting in a boxing match. One gets punched in the crouch, cries, and goes home to watch "The Simpsons".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, nor does the chicken because it's a chicken.

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why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

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What do you say to Michael and Justin? The Game

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere

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"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

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Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

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0 + 0 = 0

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Brain fart

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Why couldn't Sally ride a bicycle? She doesn't have a bicycle. She also doesn't have legs.

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Q: What's worse than ten babies tied to ten trees? A: One baby tied to ten trees.

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Yanter, Look it up

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

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What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

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What kind of parrot can't mimic human voices? One that's just had it's vocal chords illegally harvested and sold on the black market

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Why did the young boy cross the road? because his dad beats him due to alcoholism and his mother is a crack whore.

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Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

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Donald Trump

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yo mama just like a toilet, white and full of crap!

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whats worse than a worm in your apple..? getting shot..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops