Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

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Try this on your friends and make them look dumb So a plane crashes on the border between the USA and Canada. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury the survivors.

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Q: Whats the difference between water melon and a baby? A: Watermelon is a fruit.

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What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

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What is wrong with being a black Jew? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

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Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

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I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

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What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

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Knock Knock.

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Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

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What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

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The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

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Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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