My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

Why can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't Why can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllpeople tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't Why can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllpeople tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't Why can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllpeople tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't Why can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllpeople tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllll

What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...