When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Jerry Sandusky walks up to the reception desk at a day care center. What does the lady at the desk say? Nothing, she promptly gives Mr. Sandusky his son and they leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the black man fall down? A guy pushed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There are three guys on an airplane, a Korean, a Mexican, and an American. The pilot comes on the speaker and syays,"The plane is to heavy, throw out the thing you have most in your country." The Korean throws out an AK-47 and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The Mexican throws out a taco and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The American throws out the Mexican and says,"We have to many of these in our country."

thumb_up thumb_down

what's white and bumpy? Milk. But it's not bumpy.

thumb_up thumb_down

How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

thumb_up thumb_down

Frontbut-

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Chuck Norris doesn't just have a chin underneath his beard. He also has part of his neck underneath his beard.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops