A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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What is lil Wayne's real name? Dwayne micheal carter jr.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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