My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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What's worse than falling out of a tree and landing on a dog? Rape.

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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A black man walks up to a white man, and the black man says YO DIGGITY DAWG WASSAP FO DRIZZLE PLAYA BEEP BOBOTY BOP. And the white man stands there, confused as to what the black man said.

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What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Ebola is present And so are u

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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whats white and black, and red all over, kiren poping jacob cherry

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family.

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What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

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Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a loaf of bread.

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I am fine, hungry but otherwise fine, I sometimes wish that things that come easy to you, did the same for me or others, excuse me, going to grab a bite, I hope we can chat here for a bit, it is not a chatting site the least. Say? Are you still burning mad at me? If not ill gladly give you a call, but if this is a ploy you are scheming in order to gain my trust I might be killing myself.

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Why did Stephen hawking walk into A bar? He didn't. This situation is impossible considering the fact that he suffers from a horrible condition causing terrible muscular paralysis preventing him from walking.

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One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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