Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

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Who's Micheal Jackson?

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What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Jokes related to finding a worm in an apple.

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How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

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Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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If your dying how would you avoid getting eaten alive by sharks or rip to shreds by a T-Rex? Fall on a sword

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Why is facebook ruining all of the world's social skills? Because Mark Zuckerberg has Asperger's.

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Why did the black man cross the road? he just wanted to cross the road, racist. ... after he had robbed a bank

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

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Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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