What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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Why did the Jew cross the road? Cause the Nazi told him to

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How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

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Why did Mr. Cannon dies Because he got shot as an undercover cop in south america

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

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I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: He had no arms Q: Why did the frog fall out of the tree? A: He was stapled to the monkey's face

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You just made me realize something friend, and for that I am grateful, I quit and left the remains of what could have been put together again, I mean if the chance was there, I betrayed both you and myself by leaving a sinking ship. I keep telling myself that our dream has no chance of becoming real in a world where people lack what we consider vision, individuality. Now I realize that by losing faith in humanity accepting their individuality and becoming an author of fiction, I have indeed lost my own belief in a greater world, this of course being reflected upon the fact that I write fiction, rather than speeches and well, what I once considered wisdom. Its just that its lonely at the top, the wiser you become, the more alienated you become from the rest, and if others no longer grasp our concepts of wisdom, strength honor, love and such.. Then I suppose that we just end up lonely, as aliens in a world full of monkeys, until I have begun questioning myself if I am just an arrogant prick, and taken that for an answer. Then it does not matter if you have one follower or a million... ...The sensation of solitude, becomes overwhelming, I guess I have been looking around the world for a definition, rather than following my own heart. Listen, I wont pretend to be you, but I will gladly join you, but if you cannot accept us as equals, I decline. Hey on the brighter side, I always got a "man that likes men" vibe out of you, I suppose I got myself a fan huh? Someone trying to copycat me. Damn, I feel broken, or maybe I just realized how broken I have allowed myself to become, lets say you are not really a woman and where using this in order to break me. Then I gotta say you got me there, and I am not proud of that, I guess that you trying, where I gave up, makes you the better one regardless.

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how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

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how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

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What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

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What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

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What did the old women do when she found her husband dead? She had a heart attack and died as well.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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