when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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Why are black people like jelly beans? Nobody likes the black ones

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What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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Why do teens say "dude?" They feel unloved at home and must know that they posses a strong relationship with their peers, and in fact, cannot maintain a proper friendship due to the four letter word known as "dude."

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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"Everyone be very quite. Dont say a word or well get eaten by the big, fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "A word or well get eaten by the big fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "Look how clever Charles is now were all screwed."

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there happened to be road in the vicinity of the fowl and the odds of the bird crossing it is very high.

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What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

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What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

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What's the difference between a Pile of Dead Babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamboghini in my garage

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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Knock knock who's threre me, I kill you

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how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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