(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

Why did moral man lose his superpowers? Because he read the pointless superpowers section and realized its pointless... Moral: yeah this is my power... :(

knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

what did nena say in the library while her and her friends were on anti-jokes? I don't know. I wasn't there.

Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse then two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Three bee stings.

How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

How did the man break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

How do you make a cripple cry Cut of his legs, THEN telll him a joke

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

a man dyslexic into bar walks a

What do you call 5 black people being killed in a car crash? A terrible incident

What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

PS3 has the exerrent technorogy and finersse to make excerrent gaming such as... ...ITS RIDGE RACER! RIIIIIIIIIDGE RACEEEEEEEEEEEER!

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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