roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

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Joke below was made by Daniel Textor, he's a d i c k.

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"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

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Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

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what is the germans word for fat dick what is very fat hairy dick

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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I took my blind grandmother to the art gallary

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What do you call a black drug dealer? A black man that works as a drug dealer

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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