Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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A rapist walks into a bar He orders a drink He wakes up the next morning naked on a hot chick He leaves not realizing that he is nude and is promptly escorted by the police to jail

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Two cows grazing by the road. One says hey what's all this about mad cows running around? I wonder what is it like? The other says I don't know I'm a helicopter.

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roses are red violets are blue heres the oven now where the **** is the jew

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How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

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What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

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Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

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69

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

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Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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dat shoe shine tho

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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