why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

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Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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