Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

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What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

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A man penetrates another man.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

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Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

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What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, we have mutual friends, and violets are blue and roses are red. FRIDGE

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A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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What do you call a woman outside of the kitchen? Out of place.

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A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

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Charlie, Charlie the drunk guinea pig! OUR BEST FRIEND!!! Angel Charlie: I'm already dead yah poof!!! Butt cancer killed me.....

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your son just died of terroristic bombing.

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Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

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Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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Why didn't the women make her husband a sandwitch? Because she was struck by a car as a young child and was told she could never walk again. Her family couldn't afford a wheelchair so therefore she is bedridden all day.

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Hey Bill, did you know we have a black guy in our family tree? Really? Yeah, he's still hanging there

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops