How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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A ginger kid, a blonde kid and a brunette jump off a 50 foot building... All of them die apart from all of them because luckily there was a swimming pool at the bottom

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yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

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Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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what is red and can grow hair water i lied about it growing hair and that it is red

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Dislike if you are a prostitute

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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How did the Jew escape the concentration camp?

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin right before they got in the b\Batmobile? A: "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

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The Grinch stole Christmas, he accidentally dropped it and Christmas was ruined for everyone life sucked -shane,Adam,David and Riley go cry about it

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

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What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

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Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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