Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

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An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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I slept through the Dark Knight movie....turns out I was pretty tired.

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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What do you call the Doctor who graduated at the bottom of his class? Doctor.

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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why was the black kid made fun of at school? Because he was a nerdy boy who drinks tea

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? Well, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT Master Pain's (Betty's) "butt". You would most likely get a bungee jumping owl.

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Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

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What's an AntiJoke? A joke that has no comical value.

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What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

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In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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So a bar walks into a man...

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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