Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's worse then 1 bee sting? -2 Bee stings. What's worse then 2 bee stings? -The Holocaust. What's worse then the Holocaust? -3 Bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Because 6 was registered as a sex offender

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What does the Priest say to the little boy? Size doesnt matter

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How you know when dislextic

thumb_up thumb_down -22

i have a story to tell u!!! oh s*** i forgot!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

thumb_up thumb_down -22

rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A: What do you call a female bombing the white house? Q: A terrorist

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Rap. Skate. Smoke.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Maths.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the money fall out of the tree... because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -22

yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red Im adopted

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops