how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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What do you do when your girlfriend is bleeding? She is probably on her period.

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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Why wasn't the white guy voted for president? He had down syndrome

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How do you make a penguin fly? You strap it to the roof of a plane.

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Why did the Asian boy drop his milk? Because he had a stroke.

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Patrick: My name is 24. Spongebob: Hey, Patrick, you know whats worse than 24? Patrick: What? Spongebob: 911.

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Why did the Jew pick up the dollar on the side of the road? Because he dropped it.

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Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

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What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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Why don't black people ever defend themselves on anti jokes? Because black people are slaves.

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

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why is caleb mears sucha perv? becasuee its calebbbb ahahahahahahah

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What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

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what do you get when you mix peanut butter and jelly? a sweaty black guy

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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David Cameron

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The black man at the narcotics anonymous meeting said, "oh, this isn't bingo is it?" then walked out of the room feeling mildly embarassed.

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What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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