Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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Why did the kitten cross the road? Because its owners abandoned it.

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

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What did the Asian get on his math assignment? 56%, he forgot about it and passed it in a day late with a number of questions uncompleted.

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What did the Macedonian guy say to the Croatian guy? Both of our countries are from the former Yugoslavia.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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