knock knock. who's there? 9/11

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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i think dylan is turnimg gay for amy

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I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

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Why isn't Pluto a planet? Because it mutilated my dog

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ok there is 3 people and the white kid says "bet i got a better dick than all of you" he pulls it out and then the mexican says "nope got you beat" and then the black guy says "nope got all you beat look" and then the mexican and white guys say "its because your black" so the black guy goes home and tells his mom wht happen and ask " is it true mines bigger because im black?" she said " no it bc your 23"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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What did my uncle get for Christmas? Me... MagicMonkey

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Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

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a young boy once lost his mind and then his parents weeped because their son had been decapatated in a horrible motorcycle accident caused by a drunk who had just killed his wife and children and was running from the cops....

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Coz he felt like it.

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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Did You Hear about the Black Guy That went to College?....Neither Did I...

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

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What happened when the Irish ran out of potatoes? Millions starved.

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"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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