A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

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Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

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There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

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whats the point of anti jokes? A: the point that it is no point

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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Why did the black man vote for Obama in the presidential election? Every person over the age of 21 has an open opinion to vote for the person of their choice to run as president for a 4-year term.

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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