Uh, Liz, he is staring at the screen... He says you are right and knows, so he cant get mad, ill trust you both, but it better work, or this one is on me. Oh by the way, yeah he is eating, sorry its late here, and I am the only nurse here about now Ironically this place is full of doctors but they dont seem to give a crap about the man that pays their checks. Doctors said no, Nero said "you are fired" Doctor changes his opinion, glad to see he is taking charge around here, I am just worried about his sleep, he is beginning to halucinate and I doubt any stimulants will help. But fine, ill trust you, sorry, really shaking my boots here, I really do not want to, but this is not about me.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

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Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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-What do you say to a woman with Two Black eyes?. -Are you really that dumb to leave the kitchen twice -Elder High School

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? because someone threw a fridge at her.

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

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Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

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My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops