What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

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Why did the boy stay in the closet? Because the door was locked.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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Life is like the Titanic. You cruise along on course and everything is great -- until you hit an iceberg and 1,517 people die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! :)

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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DO U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD BIRD BIRD, BIRD IS THE WORD? DON'T U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD? EVERYOBODY KNOWS THAT THE BIRD IS THE WORD! Oh, no i did not know that the bird was the word.

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops