how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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*The doctor walks in* Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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Q- if a small quiz is a quizicle then whats a small test A- a testicle

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Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

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Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

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Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

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What did the fish say to the Asain man Nothing. a fish can not talk

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A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops