Whats cold and frozen? ice

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

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What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

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Where did Suzy go after the explosion? - Everywhere.

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What would happen if you insulted Chuck Norris' mother? Considering you did it on a messageboard that only unemployed people with no social lives use, nothing.

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Knock knock? Who's There? I AMMM!!! (thumb this down please xD)

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John lazzaro likes dick

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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What do you call a discrase of a living enviorment? African huts there so muddy

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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What would Jesus say if he was alive today? “Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d'bwaschmâja af b'arha.”

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What dinosaur makes honey? The Bee Rex.

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What did one door say to the other door? Nothing, cause doors don't talk.

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Once upon a time, in a magical kingdom, there were too many similar jokes on anti-joke.com. One man thought he could be funny by writing a joke that referenced this, and be even funnier by referencing what he was referencing. Then he referenced that, then that, and so on until the layers of meta caused his brain to explode. Some of it landed in your mother's vagina.

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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