Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

Death by kayak

What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

A apple a day keeps gramar away.

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

Roses are red Violets are blue Urine is yellowish and shit is usually brown... That's it, I was just remembering the colors of some stuffs

Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.

What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf or bread. why did the plane fall apart in mid air? The engineer was a loaf of bread Why didn't the plane take off? because it was delayed.

what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

Knock Knock.

How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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