I viewed the terms of service and did not agree to them.

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Q: What's worse than tripping down the stairs in front of a crowd of people? A: The bombing of Hiroshima

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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A duck walks into a bar. Then he walks out.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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Why did the kid jump? He didn't.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

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Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

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What do you do when you find a black man rolling around on the ground? Stop laughing and reload.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

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A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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chickens, roads, horses, bars,roses, violets, sally, knock, knock, fnord

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What do you call a chicken with three eyes? One that flew over the cuckoo's nest.

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What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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