how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

Knock knock. Who's there. To get to the other side.

Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

who is an indian that can not shoot a bow and arrow? David

How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

What do you call a man with a spade on his head? Doug

What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

Why did a boy get slapped in the hand? A; because he had it in the persons face

mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

A Black Child just received his ivy-league diploma and hugged his dad.

How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

You know you have no friends when you steal someone's ALIAS concept and disrespect what is perhaps the most intellectually satisfying form of humour. [L]

What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

It takes a minute to know somebody, an hour to fall in love, but a lifetime to forget. Once, my mom forgot me at Disney World.

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

Gregory: Hey, aren't you that pretty girl I saw from the party? Jenny: Huh? Gregory: No wait, it can't be you. Because you are WAY prettier. Jenny: Aw, that's so sweet, lemme give you my phone number. Gregory: Okay I'm ready to copy Jenny: It's 1-800-get-a-life-loser Gregory: Biitch

Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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