What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My dick

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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A dog walks into a bar Because the door was open -Tag

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How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

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knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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what did the apple say to the orange ? nothing, apples are a fruit and do not have any organs which allow it to be able to talk.

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Why was the man attracted to other men? Because he was gay, and that is typically what happens when people are attracted to members of the same sex, and it is as natural as a man being attracted to women.

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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A seal walks into a club.

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A generous manager, an honest lawyer, a responsible politician and a dodo bird fall off a cliff. Who survives?. None, they are all long since extinct.

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what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

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A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

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What did the black guy say to the japanese ninja with super fighting skills? Nothing, because he neck was sliced before he could.

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Where did the kid go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

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Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

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Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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