A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because it is a horse and doesn't understand English. It gets confused about it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, upending a few tables along the way.

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How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

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How do you tell a bunch of Chinese people apart? Go up to each one and ask them their first and last names. The chances of any of them being the same is quite slim, giving each person their own identity.

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You can't choose your family, so choose someone else's.

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A lonely man walks into a Self-Esteem class. He sits alone in the back because of his low self-esteem. Forever alone.

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What do you call a white man sitting between two black men on a bus? A group of three people having a friendly conversation about the upcoming football season.

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What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

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What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

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A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

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Why do people carry around spoons? Because they like to do them

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Yo momma's so poor, she needs to work 2 jobs to support her family.

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what do you get with a bulldog and a shi-tzhu 2 dogs.

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What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Screw it you write the joke.

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Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

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how do you punish hellen keller? you can't she's dead

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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