What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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Why didnt sally throw out her lunch? Her mom had a miscarriage, she was never born.

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Knock Knock Who's there

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

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What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? Because he is a Sikh who was mistaken for a muslim after the events of 9/11. His neighbors for 5 years have turned on him and now are throwing rocks at him to alleviate their anger while he is biking to his minimum wage job as a janitor at the local burger king, trying to make money for a family that doesn't love him anymore

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

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Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

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Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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Jesus Christ

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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Gay people: "Quit calling Justin Bieber gay, we don't want him either."

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

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what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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