What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

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Reilly and Ross went up to fetch a pale of water when a triceratops turned them into bagels then ate them and later crapped them out....

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knock knock... ...no answer

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office, naked but wrapped in Saran Wrap. The Doctor takes one look at him and says, "I can clearly see your nuts."

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Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

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Yo Momma so fat, that the doctor prescribed her prescription drugs that deal with her eating disorder and recommended that she begin a low calorie diet and live a more active lifestyle.

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your mother is so fat, she possesses her own orbit

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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Why can't the man get a good jod? Because he did not go to college and there for did not get a good education.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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I like my wine like I like my women. Not at all.

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CUT MY SOUL INTO PIECES MY NAME IS VOLDEMORT TERMINATION YOU'RE BLEEDING DON'T GIVE A F**K IF I HAVE NO NOSE FOR BREATHING

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angelo snyder is not ga

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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Your mother is so fat, we needs two fat jokes to adequatly make fun of her.

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What did one door say to the other door? Nothing, cause doors don't talk.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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did you hear about the dyslexic, overweight, wheelchair bound blind guy? No? Niether did I, I'm deaf so don't hear about anything.

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you cant spell slaughter withought laughter

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sky diving? I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

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It's that time of the month again... ...to cut my toenails.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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