David Cameron

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

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Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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Why doesn't Lucinda have a penis? Because she's Mexican.

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Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

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What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

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Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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