whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

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What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

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Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

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Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

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Hai Patrick Hai Patrick

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Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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i'm not random but cheese does get a bit purple if you leave it in your laptop then the battery dies and the sun expands and kills every dodo alive even though they're extinct but that not the point

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

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How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

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why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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