What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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Knock knock. Its open.

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What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

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Why did the man cross the street? Because he had to go work.

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Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

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Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

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What happens if a Muslim leaves their bag on a bus? They quickly return onto the bus and get it.

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops