What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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