- Anti Joke

what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

A man says to a boy. I bet you I can jump over that mountain. The boy wins the bet because it is a physical impossibility to jump over a mountain.

What did the man with no head say to the women?

What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

-Why did the jewish man chase after the penny? -Because he's poor and needs to feed his starving family.

What do you call a horny horse? A unicorn.

Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

What happened when the engineering student studied for a physics final? They failed.

What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

What do you call a man that likes to play baseball? A Baseball Player.

a dyslexic man walked his god.

what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish