What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

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What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

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AND

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

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A man is in the desert and he finds a lamp, he rubs the lamp and out comes a genie! The genie says "I can grant your three wishes, for releasing me from the lamp" The man says "I wish I didn't have AIDS".

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Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

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How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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Why did the Muslim man get on a plane? Because he was going on vacation

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What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

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steven hawking walks into a bar

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who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

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a gay guy is in a club, from across the room he sees another attractive man with now shirt and he gets an erection.

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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