Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

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My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

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GOODBYE

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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