John: what is blue and goes blub blub Phil; I don't know, what? John: a blue blub blub. What is green and goes blub blub Phil; a green blub blub John: no green blub blubs don't exist, what are you stupid?

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A guy uses Google locations to find his friend Chuck Norris.

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What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

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I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

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What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Just kidding, he didn't cross the road, he had no legs.

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Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

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Why did Mr. Moseley choose to not buy crest toothpaste this month? Because your daughter got an abortion.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

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What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

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What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? cancer

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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if you press the thumbs up button nyan cat is going to visit you tonight

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do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

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Why did the blonde go to law school? She was sick of people assuming that she was not an intelligent woman due to negative sterotypes about her gender and hair color and set out to prove said people wrong.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops