A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks: "why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus being incapable of comprehending the complexities of conversation said nothing, and shit all over the floor.

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

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Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

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What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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