A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

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there once was a man named china who got stuck in yo mamas vagina he escaped through her butthole minus her butt mole and then died a horrible and painful death

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What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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Two friends sit down at a table for lunch. One, in a very frustrated mood, says to the other, "You know what I don't get?" His friend immediately responds: "Sex."

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bar was part of the fence he was enclosed by.

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

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leedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedleleedlele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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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2 biggest lies I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service and That baby dont look like me

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

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Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

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How old is victor? Half past dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops