Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Doctor Doctor I think I'm a dog. Sit down on the couch and tell me about it. Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What does greg and Ian have in common?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A French man, Irish man and Japanese man walk into a bar, seeing as the men speak different languages no conversation begins.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....... unless it is a nonkiller disease that makes you extremely weak :D

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the dinosaur say to the koala? Nothing because the dinosaur is extinct and both of which cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

LOVING BIRD DIEING BIRD DO NOT FLY AWAY

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops